Words are vulnerable and powerful. Words can inspire and build us up or do just the opposite. They are what give us the ability to connect and engage with grounded confidence and the courage to walk alongside others. However, words and language-choice can also be the catalysts of shame and hate.
So how do we be there for others through our words? We ask them. When they tell us what they’re feeling, what happened, what they fear or desire, we listen and we become trusted stewards of their stories.
This means honoring the sacred nature of story—the ones we share and the ones we hear—and knowing that we’ve been entrusted with something valuable or that we have something valuable that we should treat with respect and care. We are good stewards of the stories we tell by trusting them to people who have earned the right to hear them, and telling them only when we are ready. We create connection by listening, being curious, affirming, and believing people when they tell us how they experienced something.
The issues that most of us struggle with, however, are being the knower, advice-giving, and problem-solving. Problem-solving is tough because some people do want help. But, the best story stewardship in these moments is just to say, “I’m grateful that you’re sharing this with me. What does support look like? I can listen and be with you, I can help problem-solve, or whatever else you need. You tell me.”
I encourage you to hold space, withhold judgment, emotionally connect, and communicate the incredibly healing message portraying you’re not alone. Allow others to know they are seen. As vulnerable as it may be, reach out and send the text of: I appreciate your friendship. Affirm someone by telling them you appreciate them cleaning the kitchen. Reach out to someone when you are thinking about them or when you remember they have a hard test. Words are powerful and build connection. Remind people what they mean to you.
Luv, Liv