This feeling of not enough consumes us. We spend hours and minutes of our days hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of or what we could have done better. No matter what, we could always be smarter. We could always be more determined, more educated, more fit, more successful, more on top of it, more self-aware. The list goes on and on until we exhaust all that is left of us.
I am in the midst of applying to large corporate internships for the Summer of 2024 and all I can think about is how I should be doing more. There is always another step, another person I should be networking with, another internship I should apply to, or more I should be researching. No matter how much dedication and hard work I invest, it’s as if the sense of fulfillment remains elusive. Despite knowing I’m pursuing the right path and giving it my all, there’s a persistent feeling that my efforts fall short of achieving that desired sense of “enoughness.”
All of these experiences and emotions I am expressing are connected to comparison and my goal is to raise awareness about how and why they happen so we can find a sense of being enough.
Comparison is the crush of conformity from one side and competition from the other–it’s trying to simultaneously fit in and stand out.
Comparison says “Be like everyone else, but better.”
In my case, I am talking about comparing in the sense of success. However when we compare, we want to be the best or have the best of our group. The comparison mandate becomes this crushing paradox of: “Fit in and stand out!” It is not being yourself and respecting others for being authentic, it’s “Fit in but win.”
Obviously this is something I am working on and still learning, but we can choose how we let it affect us. We can let this constant automatic ranking negatively shape our lives, or we can stay aware enough to know when it is happening and what emotions are coming up. Acknowledge that everyone, including you, has unique strengths and weaknesses and something original to contribute to the world. Because all humans are fundamentally different; trying to compare yourself to others is pointless.
Luv, Liv