oliviadewey03, Author at luvliv

One Step In Front of the Other

By oliviadewey03 on January 26, 2022

Breakups hurt. Heartbreak is painful. Especially, when you loved that person more than anything. The thoughts of: Is he going to change his mind? Is he going to want me back? Does he miss me? Could we make this work? These thoughts torment you. You cry. Your stomach hurts. You can’t sleep. It sucks. It feels as if you are never going to be happy again. It feels as if you will never find someone else.

All of these thoughts are normal if you truly loved the person. These thoughts happen if you are genuine and love hard. All of these thoughts are healthy to feel, especially when the break up is raw and when you see that person as “the one.” You are not the only one feeling this way, I promise. And the part that makes it even worse is the only thing that can aid your pain is time.

But you will get through it. Lean onto your friends. They want to help. It is so hard and time feels so slow. But you are independent. You are someone who has dreams and aspirations of your own. Maybe this is good. Maybe you can work on yourself more and complete the goals that you had for the beginning of the year. You will get through this. I believe in you. Each day will get better. And maybe, you guys will get back together, but the only way that can work is if you move on and put yourself first.

Luv, Liv

The Comparison Trap of Social Media

By oliviadewey03 on January 26, 2022

It is so easy to compare yourself. Both the good and the bad. I do it too. And the place I do it the most is social media.

Social media is a fun place to post pictures you feel good in. It’s a place where you can keep in contact with people who may not live near you anymore or just a great place to connect with others. There are definitely pros to it. I use it and enjoy it. In this day, you almost need to have social media to keep up with the world.

However, social media is definitely not always good. Social media can leave us constantly wanting more or constantly comparing ourselves to something or someone better. And you don’t even have to step outside. For me, I have caught myself feeling unhappy, just because of social media. Whether that is me feeling unattractive, me feeling like I don’t have enough, me comparing my life, or even me comparing my relationship.

But something to remember is each time someone posts on Instagram they are only posting the good that is happening in their life. They are posting pictures that they feel good in, that they look good in, and no one would ever post something portraying an image that shows their sufferings or hardships. I just think that it is important to know that and to think about that. So, the next time you catch yourself feeling as if someone else’s life is perfect based off of Instagram, remember that is because they are only posting the great parts of their life.

Luv, Liv

Three Easy Things to Raise Your Self Esteem

By oliviadewey03 on January 26, 2022

Self esteem is about knowing your worth and knowing your value. Sometimes with school and a busy schedule, relationships, or whatever it is at the time, I start to lose focus on my self esteem. However, self esteem is so important. It is essential for happiness and well being.

So, to make sure each day, even on a day where I have an extremely busy schedule or I am just feeling so sad, I have started doing the same three things every single day. These three things are:

Make my bed.
Write in my journal three things I am looking forward to that day.
Before I go to bed, write five things I am grateful for.

Even though in total each of these self- caring tasks only take a few minutes, they are extremely beneficial. They allow me to start off my day in a good place and end it feeling even better, even if that day was terrible.

Luv, Liv

Feeling As if You Are the Only One

By oliviadewey03 on January 16, 2022

The words: “College is the best time of your life. Love it while you can.” consume me. I am a fantasizer, a young woman who can’t help but visualize college as this magical place where I am supposed to find my best friends for life.

It felt as if there was a calculated path to follow and if you followed it you would be set up for success. For example: Step 1- join a sorority and meet your future bridesmaids. Step 2- join a club for your major so it’s not all social and is also academic to build your resume. Step 3- Join an intramural sport so you are getting some exercise and staying fit.

But, how could I have done all those steps correctly, yet still feel so out of place and lonely. Why do the thoughts of: Did I make the right decision of where to go to college?, or Dang my friends from high school look like they are having the time of their life, or How am I ever going to meet friends who are real and have my back? Why do these thoughts fill my head, pushing me further and further down into a hole where I feel like I can no longer breathe. Where I feel as if everywhere I go, the people that surround me don’t stop to think about the world in the same way I do or even at all.

These are the thoughts it feels like no one talks about when it comes to not only college, but moving to a brand new place. No one talks about how it feels to be alone or how hard it is to go out of your way to meet people. Why would we, I mean that requires us to allow people to see us struggling. It makes us feel weak.

But, all of these things take time. Although it feels, there is no way out, and you have already tried everything you possibly can, sometimes the answer is just time. Whether it has been a few weeks or months or even years, finding your people just takes time. But just know you are not alone and if anything, those feelings are what is more common. Instead, people just don’t talk about it.

Luv, Liv

Diving Down Into The Unconscious

By oliviadewey03 on January 16, 2022

I used to think therapy was only for people suffering from mental illness. As embarrassing as that sounds, I really did. However, I was so wrong.

I go to therapy, not because I have a mental illness, but because in life I thrive to be a better version of myself. I go to therapy, not because I’m weak but because I’m strong and can ask for help.

To better understand what therapy is, imagine yourself on a beach. Imagine the blue, clear water that wraps the islands of Hawaii. Imagine yourself standing on the warm, white sand as the water brushes against your toes. As you look into the horizon, you see waves splashing against each other again and again. However, there is so much more to the ocean that you can’t see. There are miles and miles, of water that are concealed unless you dive down into the ocean.

This is exactly how therapy works. Without therapy, we know the conscious parts of us or the waves that exist from just glancing at the ocean. However that is only one very small percentage of what makes us who we are. And therapy is about diving in and exploring the unconscious parts that are waiting to be discovered or like in the ocean, the parts you can’t see by just standing on the beach and taking a quick look at the water.

Luv, Liv

One Bite At A Time

By oliviadewey03 on January 16, 2022

Something that I have had a hard time with for a very long time is my relationship with food. When I hear myself say the words “my relationship with food, “ so many words pop up into my head; words such as dieting, skinny, fat, gluten-free, sugar-free, no calories, eating more, eating less, not eating. This list goes on and on, and all of these words are things I have dealt with and experienced.

The story of my relationship with food starts with gymnastics. To give a little backstory, imagine a young girl from the ages 10-14 who weighs a little more than 100 pounds, who trains twenty- four hours a week and has not started her period. Imagine a girl who has such a bad relationship with food that she gives her lunch to her friends at school or after having a long, hard practice for four and a half hours puts her dinner down the drain or in a paper towel wrapped up and stuffed under trash so that it looks like she ate. A girl who feels the only way to succeed in the thing she loves more than anything is to not eat.

I look back at pictures of me during this time, when this young girl would look in the mirror and genuinely see looking right back at her a heavy, fat body. She saw a body that she not only didn’t like, but also thought was overweight and unattractive.

This is a girl who at 16, being forced to quit gymnastics due to injuries, felt that if she wasn’t working out, she shouldn’t eat. A girl who felt the only way to be healthy and fit was to count calories and cut out of her “diet” any food that wasn’t vegetables or nuts. A girl who thought she had a good relationship with food.

Now, I am 18 years old and no, my relationship with food is not perfect. However, my relationship with food is better and more consistent. Yes, I eat healthy. Yes, I eat dessert. Yes, I eat sweets. Yes, I eat vegetables, nuts, fruit, meat, rice, sugar, dessert, and fast food .

“I eat.” And that is something the young girl looking in the mirror four years ago could not say.” I eat.”

Luv, Liv

Taking a Minute to Stop and Think

By oliviadewey03 on January 16, 2022

As I sit in my bedroom on my bed looking around the room that gives me so much comfort and safety, I see an endless world of things I am thankful for.

At first glance, I see my hydroflask, my favorite makeup products that I use everyday, my fairy lights, my Urban Outfitters comforter, or the clothes I need to put away. I look again and see the pictures of my family and friends that mean so much to me.

But as I continue to look around, I see the walls and shutters that give me my privacy or the ceiling that protects me from outside. I see the things that matter. The things that I need. The things that allow me to feel comfort and safety.

I think about the many people around the world struggling to obtain safety and comfort, struggling to get water or food or healthcare. I think about the families struggling from the endless list of hardships that exist in this world. I think about how truly blessed and amazing my life is.

And, all I had to do was stop and think.

Luv, Liv